Rumors of “Two and a Half Men”

Lionsgate television has announced that they are committing to ten episodes for a new sitcom featuring Charlie Sheen. According to the fired actor will be the star and have creative licence. Sources say that the show will be similar to Two and a Half Men and networks are scrambling to pick up the new sitcom.
“The show can be raunchier and more outrageous, which is perfect for Charlie” – says one source.
The news comes as writer/producer Chuck Lorre attempts to burn any bridges when it comes to the often erratic actor. TMZ is reporting that the Sheen’s character, Charlie Harper, may be driving off a cliff at the start of next seasons ‘Men’. The manor of Harpers’ death could very well be a metaphor for the producers view of Sheen’s career.
Up until this point, fans were in the dark as to how Aston Kutcher was going to ‘replace’ Sheen. Rumors are that Kutchers character buys Harpers’ house after the tiger blood actor is fataly written out of the script.
Denise Richards weighed in, telling reporters: “I am sad to see Charlie not on the show. Nobody can replace Charlie. The show was written for him and he was so brilliant at it, but I think Ashton will make it his own.”
Taping for the “original” Two and a Half Men is set for August 5 and will air in September.

Rumors of "Two and a Half Men"
Charlie Sheen.

Charlie Sheen will never make it back to ‘Two and a Half Men’, no matter how much he whines—er—wins. If the presumably still-winning-but-now-goddess-less warlock ever appears on the hit sitcom again, it will be in re-run flashbacks. Or perhaps, he’ll materialize as a ghost. Because his character, the messed up but funny and lovable drunk Charlie Harper, is now dead.
Reportedly, Chuck Lorre wanted to make sure that Charlie Sheen would never darken his door again, and the only way to do that was to kill off his character. On Two and a Half Men’s premier episode this September, the screen “will turn dark for just a minute or two… because Alan and Jake will learn Charlie Harper bit the dust.”
And how did poor Charlie expire? That is still a subject of speculation. One thing is certain – He didn’t die of old age, cancer, heart attack, or anything else remotely resembling natural causes. Sources say a possible scenario under discussion involves “Charlie driving a car over a cliff.” But… wait. Didn’t two of Charlie Sheen’s cars go crashing over a cliff on Mulholland Drive a couple of years ago? Yikes. Apparently, art really does sometimes imitate life.
At any rate, unlike Arnold Schwarzenegger in the first Terminator, Charlie Harper won’t be back. Neither will Charlie Sheen. Both will be replaced by Demi Moore’s hubby, Ashton Kutcher, who will probably be introduced as the guy who buys Charlie’s house after his untimely demise.
Oh well, life goes on.

Granted, Charlie Harper may not die. According to a report from, Chuck Lorre – ‘Two and a Half Men’ creator and frequent Sheen antagonist – is planning to kill off his former main character. The death would most likely happen off-screen, and we would only see the reaction of the surviving Harper relations. This could all get rewritten, of course, sending Charlie off to a tropical island or a farm upstate instead. But we’re just going to assume the macabre and go with the death scenario. In this case, the challenge is going to be finding a death that is both final (easy) and funny (less easy).
Here are some ideas:
1 – Charlie got sick really fast and died.
Pros: It’s easy.
Cons: It’s boring. And less believable for Charlie Sheen’s character than anything self-induced.
2 – Charlie was murdered by Ashton Kutcher’s new character.
Pros: Talk about interesting! How do Alan and Jake Harper live with their brother’s murderer? Do they even know? Do they care?
Cons: I somehow doubt that ‘Two and a Half Men’ is adventurous or creative enough to pull this off. Now, if we were talking about Community…
3 – Charlie went on vacation in a war zone, where he was killed by a ‘Torpedo of Truth.’
Pros: Ah, irony!
Cons: Didn’t Charlie Sheen copyright that phrase? I doubt he’d allow ‘Two and a Half Men’ to use it.
4 – Charlie dies from over-exertion during an orgy.
Pros: It’s totally in-character and kind of amusing.
Cons: That might be a little racy for a ‘family’ show. Even a family show that used to feature Charlie Sheen.
5 – After an accident, Charlie needs a blood transfusion. He then dies of shock when, in a wacky mix up, doctors transfuse the man with tiger blood.
Pros: It’s almost believable, and sitcom viewers always like giggling at the most obvious jokes.
Cons: A lot of explanation and more potential copyright issues.
6 – Charlie drives a car off a cliff.
Pros: This is the rumored demise planned for Charlie Sheen’s character.
Cons: It’s been done. By Charlie Sheen.

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